Week 13 Story

 Down the Rabbit hole pt.1

Source Story: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (1865).


There once was a boy named Brock. Was no one in particular, the boy who sat in the back, attended the events but never spoke, the fly on the wall. No one loved him, but no one disliked him.

Brock understood this and honestly felt the same. Why would he want to be friends with people who were so ordinary? Brock always felt he saw the world with so much more wonderful than the rest. As if he saw in color and they had to be seeing in black and white.

It is for this reason that Brock noticed the snake that seemed to be looking at him. Brock stared at the make with raised head and made eye contact. he turned his head to the left and imagined that snake doing the same. To his surprise the snake did! 

"What are you looking at punk?" Brock heard the Snake say in a surprisingly deep voice. 

Brock looked around to see if anyone realized what had just happened. "the snake was plenty loud! Someone must have heard it." Brock thought to himself. Unfortunately everyone seemed to be going about their everyday activities as if nothing extraordinary had just happened.

Brock looked back at the snake, whose eyes hadn't left broke for a second. Broke took a step forward and immediately the snake lunged at him. Brock didn't have a second to think, the snake was on him instantly. Its sharp claws digging into brocks ankle. Brock cried out in pain but the snake had slithered off before Brock even hit the ground. 

He jumped up as quick as he regained his senses and ran after the snake. The snake slithered fast but it was long, Brock couldn't miss him if he tried. The snake turned a tree and suddenly it was gone. Brock followed closely and as he turned the large tree he saw a hole in the back. Curiously, he reached his hand forward and instantly felt a force like gravity pulling him inside by the hand. Within moments he was off his feet and being yanked into the dark cavernous hole within the tree. 


Authors Note:

The one think I wanted to mimic was the inpulsivitys of the regional piece. The major premis is the same but I wanted to see what it could be like to truly enter the mind of somsone outside of social acceptance. I changed a few minor details like the hole being straight forward instead of being down because if one person can fall forever then why cant I invent a new aspect to gravity!



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Comments

  1. Hi Brock,

    I think this is a very creative outlook into the theme that you were trying to portray, especially from someone that was outside the realm of social acceptance. I do wonder though, what made you think of such an analogy? Did something come across your mind when you were telling the story involving the snake? Was there a piece that inspired you?

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  2. Hello Kev, I would’ve like to have seen some more information in your author’s note of the original story just to see how much you really made this story your own. I personally did not read this story, so I don’t know what this story is based off of. I also did notice a few grammatical errors but that is an easy fix! Other than that I really enjoyed reading your story!

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  3. Hey Kev,

    I like the premise of this story and your use of dialogue a lot! In terms of how you organize your paragraphs, I think you do a good job, as they are similar in length and separate out most of the dialogue nicely. On another note, I think adding more detail about the original story in your author's note would be super beneficial to the reader! Nice job!

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