Comment Wall

Here you can leave comments on my Storybook Project!


  1. Hi Kev,

    I really like the layout of your storybook. It is very easy to navigate and the pictures and color scheme really suite the mood well, which I really appreciate.

    I like your whole idea of the storybook, too. Your subheading is very cute about how he is a "normal" dwarf going on some abnormal adventures.

    Your introduction is very well-written! I really enjoyed reading it because it was very entertaining and it flowed nicely. My favorite part was when Focuse's brother was taunting him in the mine, which ultimately led to the beginning of his abnormal adventures. I also love how you incorporate humor into it. It's good to be intense and serious, but I always appreciate the little comedy breaks here and there.

    Overall, everything looks great as far as formatting and the introduction itself. Well done! I am really looking forward to reading the rest of the stories following Focuse on his crazy adventures!


  2. Hi Kev! I was fascinated by your project as soon as I saw your home-page. Middle earth is really cool place for a story to take place, and a dwarf would be a fun character to write about as well. Wow! I loved your introduction. You do a really nice job of setting up the story by going into some background on your main character Focuse as well as his siblings. The design of the project is really neat as well; I like the pictures you have included. The one on your homepage reminds me a bit of when you would find Dwarven ruins in the game Skyrim. The introduction transitions perfectly into your second story, The Nest, which I loved as well. I probably should have known sooner due to the title, but I loved that you included a dragon. It made me think of Smaug! I wonder why Focuse decided to listen to the voice. We know he wants to see life besides the mines. Perhaps he saw this voice as an opportunity. I'm no dragon expert but I was surprised that the baby dragon was immediately so capable and strong. Great story!

  3. Hey Kev! I really like how your website is laid out. From the home page and the title I figured it would have a heavy emphasis on adventure/action, but besides that I didn't know what to expect. The dark colors that were displayed in your picture made it feel mysterious. Clicking on your introduction, I can tell you put a lot of thought and time into it. Your idea to write your stories about dwarfs is very unique and serves for a great read. I especially liked how a 50 yr old dwarf is considered young haha. After reading the introduction I realized that you had finished your three stories. Way to work ahead! The amount of detail you provided in every story really made it enjoyable and made me want to continue reading. Overall, great job with this website as a whole, you really did a great job with it!

  4. Hi Kev!
    This is a cool storybook. I don't really know much about LOTR, but I've played Dragon Age. Since your story is about dragons (and a dwarf), it reminds me of those games. I also liked how you explained things about the LOTR universe in your Author's note, it's helpful for people that need that extra background.
    I would suggest changing the images on your intro and your first story. They might be cool pictures, but they're a little bit blurry/pixelated. Maybe you can adjust some settings on Google Sites or look around for similar pictures.
    As for your story, I really enjoyed it! I liked how each story connected together. It was like chapters of a book. You put a couple of cliffhangers at the end, so it made me want to read the next little bit. Also, your character Focuse was cool! Go Focuse and Eagon! Protecting Middle Earth, no big deal.
    I wonder if you could change up the dialogue to match Focuses personality or time/place that he lives in. When he speaks he doesn't really sound like a dwarf living in middle earth. He sounds like a regular guy that could live in 2020. Maybe you could edit some of the dialogue to give his voice a bit more character. But that's just an idea.
    Great job on the story book!

  5. Hi Kev!
    The concept for your Storybook is so well thought out and it shows! You did a good job of laying out the elements and characters of your story so that I was never confused as to what was happening. I also liked the subtle humor that you included as well. Overall, this story's setup and plotline as well as dialogue and characters are awesome.
    I would suggest adding in some more photos in the midst of your stories to increase the visual appeal of each story. Your stories are excellent, but with an added visual element, it would be even better.
    I appreciate the care that you took in crafting this story. Your Author's Notes are also very clear and informative so they complement your story nicely. I've never seen the movies based on Tolkien's books, but your story was definitely a nice introduction into a form of his world. Good work!

  6. Hi there! Your introduction is so captivating! The way you introduce the main character plus his family and the entire setting is so, so good. The descriptive words of the new town, Moira, really help paint a picture in my head of what a dwarf town would look like. The world you have created in just the introduction to your storybook is already so detailed and fantastic, I can't wait to read more. I like how the character Focuse isn't all about mining, like his brother and sister. I think adding a little more of his internal dialogue could help really establish idea. It could also help really foreshadow what is to come (even though I have no idea). I did click through the other sections of the story and I like the theme/layout you've chosen. It makes the full focus on the stories you chose to tell.

  7. Hi Kev,
    I really loved the layout of your website. The color scheme and the pictures chosen chosen goes well with the stories. Additionally, you made it very easy to navigate. I admit that I didn’t know what to expect just by reading your titles, but I knew it was going to be something interesting. Your introduction is perfect, you gave me little taste of what was the stories about, and it also transition well to the first story. I liked how you talked a bit about the main character Focus and his siblings in the introduction. I also like how you made this story something very enjoyable to read by including a dragon which is a fiction character, the way you described him after coming from the nest was just incredible. You took little details in consideration. It made me feel like I was living the moment. Overall great Job!

  8. Hello Kev,

    One of the first thing that attracted me to reading your storybook was the general storyline of dwarves and the mythological aspects of it. Overall, I think that your stories, especially your introduction encompassed many of the the stereotypical aspects of the dwarf storyline, such as their environment, their accent, their names. I do have a question, however, how did you come up with the names? Of course, being that they were siblings, their names were all similar. However, the only difference was the first part of the name. Was there any inspiration behind that?

    In terms of word choice, I think you did a fantastic job utilizing the Middle Earth culture and how the creatures would talk to one another. I actually played a lot of role-playing online games when I was younger, therefore everything that was described here brought back many fond memories! I also liked the layout of your website, where everything was easy to navigate and simplistic. I look forward to reading more from you.

  9. Hi Kev,
    I love Lord of the Rings and Middle Earth in general so I was excited to see your storybook!

    Your stories are very descriptive and do make you feel like you are really there with Focuse and Eagan. It was nice to be able to read through all four stories on your website. You really can get the whole story and have a great sense of closure. You have the first storybook I've come across that seems complete like this so it was actually a little thrilling!

    Your author's notes were great! For readers who are not familiar with Tolkien the notes give enough background that they would not be totally lost. I appreciate that because I feel like you could share your stories with anyone and they would be able to understand the story and enjoy it.

    The layout of your website works nicely with your stories as well! I always feel like having a static menu, whether it is at the side or the top of a page, is a great help to visitors.

    Thanks for sharing your stories with us!

  10. Hi Kev!

    I enjoyed reading your introduction post. It gave great background information for the stories you wrote. Your introduction is very different than most introduction posts, it was very intriguing and interesting to read. I really enjoyed it. I like all the mythological aspects you have in all your stories. My stories are very different from yours, which is always good for me to read so I can learn new writing techniques. Your story, Council of Dragons, was very captivating and fun to read. I liked how you made the dragons the good guy in this story, since they are usually the bad guy or villain in most stories. I like the layout of your website and the stories you have chosen to feature. It is easy to navigate and looks nice for viewers. You did a great job on your website and stories.


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